Where Was I?

I don’t enjoy starting projects that I can’t finish within a reasonably short amount of time. It’s not that I mind hard work; I just know that I’ll get distracted and lose my place. Something else inevitably crops up that demands attention, I start leaving clutter everywhere, and before long I can’t even find the work in progress. I eventually come back to the task but not without having to ask, “Where was I?”

Self-Actualization is obviously not a short-term project. A time frame of at least several lifetimes is probably closer to a realistic expectation. With that, I have no delusions that there will not be interruptions to contemplation. When noise, chaos and stress take over, the main need we drop to is simply to find security again. Potential can’t be fulfilled from an insecure place. The mind simply cannot be free to look inward when outward distractions are screaming.

I have a bad habit of searching for security outside of myself. While it’s true that having a strong support system is an important part of health and well-being, anything external is not permanent. Resting in temporary fixes only creates a false sense of security that also includes anxiety of knowing it can be lost. Looking inward to find that core sense of self is the essential task at hand.

At the moment, I’m back at square one. Well … square two if you want to be technical. It’s not that I haven’t been thinking; it’s that I let the “monkey mind” take over and keep me dizzy. It’s time to slow down my spinning mind again and hope that “Me” becomes clearer, stronger, and healthier.


So…where was I? Oh yeah…